Whats a post? What do I say? I am on the train. Much to do. Trying to keed it in the day. Be optimistic do not I repeat, do not feed the gorilla. My life has taken on another demension. I am emotional and fearful.

Leaving a career of 17 years. 113, 019, Electronics Section, 109 and MISD. Memories - the guys.

9/11 what can I say? support ... thousands of radios.. Headquarters vehicles.... long hours... Command and control center. Feelings of inferiority. The sheer wonderment of positioning myself wher millions of others would have wanted to be. The belly of the beast. A front row seat to the fuckfest.

Where do I go from here? Tekkie, Security or Manager? Is there anything out there for me? I will find out.

Oh well, here I am on a train. I am about to embark on a new path. Gods plans are not mine. Fear beckons me - I do not want to feed in. Thats what I used to do .... very often... succomb to the fear. Now? patience, trust. I am so tired of saying "cautionsly optimistic"

I want to unfurl... unwrap.... decompress.... expand... move foward? is it true that the best is yet to come? I hope so..

Break it down to minutia... little pieces thats it.